SARTORIAL BULLETIN

Sat, 07 Oct 2017 01:59:29 +1100

motoleafs:

this dork……..

Photo

Mon, 25 Sep 2017 14:58:21 +1000

umrzec:https://instagram.com/p/BW5s3tuANzt/

Fri, 04 Aug 2017 13:27:46 +1000

umrzec:

https://instagram.com/p/BW5s3tuANzt/

"Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your..."

Wed, 05 Jul 2017 23:30:21 +1000

“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes.
Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make one more.
You’re doing just fine.”

- Charlotte Eriksson (via ofquotesandpoetry)

"No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

Wed, 05 Jul 2017 23:29:04 +1000

“No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”

- Maya Angelou
(via thebookhowl)

Happiness Is Frightening

Sun, 07 May 2017 23:33:30 +1000

Sounds bizarre, I know. I’m merely human. An occasional pessimist and over-thinker, at that.

A conversation I had with my mother not too long ago goes like…

“Anak, you don’t seem to pleased with all the blessings you’ve been receiving.”

“Ma, I’m grateful. I don’t know why I’m receiving all of it, though. I haven’t done much, I don’t deserve it. I don’t want to be too happy. It only means I’m about to come across a ‘road block’. Then, I’ll be miserable, again.”

In the last quarter of 2016, I applied to an academic program at my university. Applying and being accepted into that program is something that I’ve dreamed about. If ever, it’ll be a game-changer to my future career. I was aware of what I was getting myself into and how gruelling the process is. As time passed, my hope diminished, for no apparent reason. I slowly started to accept that this program may not be for me, and there will be another opportunity that will come my way in the future; one that will mould my aspirations with care and firmness. So, I let time do what it does best.

Not too long ago, I received an email - to my surprise, letting me know that I’m eligible and have been chosen to be given a scholarship grant (for everyday expenses and such), in the case that my application will be accepted. I was astounded. My parents were over the moon, and I should have been too, right? I was rather meek and anxious about it. A wave of pressure loomed over me. Though, in contrast, my hope, acted as if it has a life of its own, took off.

Maybe I was in denial of this humble achievement, or skeptical, perhaps? It was too good to be true. In midst of all these clashing emotions, I knew one thing for sure; I was and am happy. That happiness was short-lived though, as I rapidly became terrified. Terrified because of the disappointment that will come with knowing I have a grant and not being accepted? Terrified because I know how devastated I’ll be? To this day, zilch. Sa lahat ng mga ayaw ko, ang pinaka-ayaw ko sa lahat at yung umasa kasi masakit. Hindi mabilis na process ang pag-gather ng disappointed pieces then re-build my confidence. That night, when I had my nightly conversation with my Lord, I wept as I questioned Him, why? Why did the good things come now? Why are You suddenly lifting my hopes up? Even if I know that it would take something as spectacular as moving mountains for a successful application.

As we speak (or shall I say, as I speak?), everything is still a work in progress. There’s no assurance, no final word. I’m still on a battle with my demons but I shall not back down and be afraid, I know that my God won’t leave me out in the dark for He IS the light.

leather-braids:LANY - ILYSB

Tue, 11 Apr 2017 18:35:55 +1000

leather-braids:

LANY - ILYSB

Photo

Mon, 02 Jan 2017 00:13:00 +1100

Father’s Day

Tue, 06 Sep 2016 10:37:04 +1000

For your fingers that served as tissues to wipe my sweat and tears and I struggled

For your hands - a platform composed of infinite tenderness,

Merely a touch, yet powerful enough to move the dark clouds to make space for the sun

For your legs; that physically wore itself out for my comfort

For your mind; for serving knowledge on a plate

to show me that learning is there and it’s there for us to take

For your heart, that intertwines with mine,

that strengthens my unstable foundation -

But most of all

Thank you for your strength and spirit, for fighting a draining battle

To me a definition of a dad is someone who still puts a smile on his face to comfort those who depend on him

And, that’s exactly what you did

For that, I will strive to make sure that your sacrifices during that turmoil, from now, will be exchanged with joy and contentment

that will erase the remainders that were left by a subtle monster

“Struggling to seek for light in my darkest times, is now a distant memory in my mind. As I’ve...

Wed, 30 Mar 2016 11:48:35 +1100

“Struggling to seek for light in my darkest times, is now a distant memory in my mind. As I’ve realised in my quiet moments that all the torment I experienced allowed me to love you in way that can outlive time.”

DREAMSthese following songs got me through writing this post:you...

Tue, 01 Dec 2015 19:19:57 +1100

DREAMS

these following songs got me through writing this post:

you and me - lifehouse

the hills - the weeknd

lay me down - sam smith

tenerife sea - ed sheeran

often - the weeknd

money on my mind - sam smith

i don’t fuck with you - big sean

apology - iKON

(yes i have quite the variety when it comes to music)

As far as I could remember, they always told me to dream big. They said, that if I dream big, my world would be nothing short of fulfilling. They would be proud of me, you would be proud of me. Doing so seems like the most effortless task to do in the world, until the realisation that being realistic is a necessity. Now, this is where it slips out of one’s hands.

Exactly, how realistic should one’s dream be? I believe that the measure of how realistic a dream is, must be aligned to the amount of perseverance and dedication one desires to set aside in order to achieve that dream.

Similar to Martin Luther King Jr, I do have dreams. Dreams that I wish to achieve as I turn the pages from the book of my life. It varies from simple to extravagant dreams, but no such dream’s importance to one person should be underestimated.

for a daily dose of creative grind, follow helloanjel

for daily dose of creative grind follow helloanjel

Tue, 01 Dec 2015 17:49:11 +1100

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hi, nicole :) it’s me - jill

Wed, 25 Nov 2015 23:04:15 +1100

hey jil!!!! :)

"We enter symbiotic relationships in order to get the security we need, in order to get relief from..."

Wed, 25 Nov 2015 22:28:51 +1100

“We enter symbiotic relationships in order to get the security we need, in order to get relief from our anxieties, our aloneness and helplessness; but these relationships also bind us, they enslave us even further because they support the lie we have fashioned. So we strain against them in order to be more free. The irony is that we do this straining uncritically, in a struggle within our own armor, as it were; and so we increase our drivenness, the second-hand quality of our struggle for freedom. Even in our flirtations with anxiety we are unconscious of our motives. We seek stress, we push our own limits, but we do it with our screen against despair and not with despair itself. We do it with the stock market, with sports cars, with atomic missiles, with the success ladder in the corporation or the competition in the university. We do it in the prison of a dialogue with our own little family, by marrying against their wishes or choosing a way of life because they frown on it, and so on. Hence the complicated and second-hand quality of our entire drivenness. Even in our passions we are nursery children playing with toys that represent the real world. Even when these toys crash and cost us our lives or our sanity, we are cheated of the consolation that we were in the real world instead of the playpen of our fantasies. We still did not meet our doom on our own manly terms, in contest with objective reality.”

- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death (via oscarjiang)

this post is transferred from my blogspot, written on November...

Mon, 23 Nov 2015 10:27:02 +1100

this post is transferred from my blogspot, written on November 4, 2015

ENCOURAGEMENT ON A THURSDAY

I just wanted to make a quick post about a quote that I came across.

“Without fear, there is no courage.”

It’s such a short yet impactful quote. I guess there are many ways that this could be interpreted but for me, upon reading this quote, I instantly let out a smile. Somehow, all my worries decreased as I realised that fear of the unknown and the uncertainties that are attached with thinking about the future, is able to bring out a different kind of courage in me everyday. For me, the fears that I have in my life enables me to push a little harder, keep a stronger mindset and be more headstrong about what is yet to come. It’s such a difficult phenomena to explain but this quote is, indeed, very true. Knowing that fear exists, of course, the first thing we tend to do, is look for the safe option - or at least an option we are comfortable with, which for me happens to be ‘hiding’ or 'running away’ from the fear. Throughout the years, I’ve realised that those acts are only temporary and cowardly because no matter what, those fears will be chasing you until you run out of ideas as to where to go next.

As I finish this random post - a tribute to my feelings regarding my final exams, I’d like to conclude by reiterating that we should not hesitate to embrace our fears, but, instead welcome them with open arms as it is through them that we are able to build a stronger version of ourselves.

[ANC]

"People leave you out in the cold and get mad when you learn how to get warm by yourself."

Mon, 23 Nov 2015 09:30:50 +1100

“People leave you out in the cold and get mad when you learn how to get warm by yourself.”

- (via bl-ossomed)
for a daily dose of creative grind, follow helloanjel

for a daily dose of creative grind, follow helloanjel

Mon, 23 Nov 2015 09:24:28 +1100

for a daily dose of creative grind, follow helloanjel

this is reposted from my blogspot, written on November 1,...

Mon, 23 Nov 2015 02:39:59 +1100

this is reposted from my blogspot, written on November 1, 2015

SUNDAY CURRENTLY | 01

With so many significant events that are about to happen for the next 21 days, those events being final exams before I graduate high school, it is inevitable that I will be going through various dimensions of emotions, feelings, as well as uncontrollable mood swings. I just wanted to quickly jot down the things in my mind as a stress reliever at a time when I cannot personally share it with someone.

(will edit this post later to give it more life,kasi katulad ng physical and emotional state ko ngayon, mejo colourless)

CURRENTLY:

Reading…

notes, notes

at walang kamatayan na notes!

English is my very first exam, it consists of two papers, the first paper is on Tuesday, second paper on Wednesday. I’m reading notes for the first paper, actually,

di naman talaga sya notes eh, because the exam asks to write a commentary for an unseen text. Anyways,

inaantok talaga ako…

Writing…

the Sunday Currently Vol. 1!! I’ve seen this on the blogs of many and though that it’s a simple and short way of stress-writing! hihi!

Listening…

to the sound of an urban environment (naks naman!)

but I still have Spotify on the background and was listening to “Mirrors” by Justin Timberlake (oh ha, sabi ko sainyo nag-ddrama ako eh!!)

Thinking…

positively about the next three weeks. Well, at least attempting to… I just can’t describe what’s occurring in my mind? It really feels like it has a life on its own,

nakakatakot na nakakainis dahil hindi ko alam kung anung nangyayari, parang manhid yung utak ko.

I should be worried, right? That I should be frantically revising for my exams, but I’m not that worried at all. Good thing? I don’t know. On the other hand, if I begin to stress mas lalo lang ako ma-rrattle ng todo.

Good thing? Bad thing?

Hindi ko talaga alam, sabog na yung utak ko.

Smelling…

the aroma of Indian cuisine. I have a few neighbours who are are Indian/of Indian descent, and I’m writing this at a time when they usually prepare and cook their meals. It smells good! Though, I only ever eat butter chicken!

Wishing…

for a blessed-next 21 days. I hope that it could pass by as quickly as it could but at the same time be a fulfilling experience.

Hoping…

that whatever I have done is enough, to help me sustain my aspirations.

Wearing…

pambahay.

A yellow “Bacolod City, City of Smile” shirt and cute women’s boxer shorts with teddy bears on it from

Bench Philippines! (pwede ako mag endorse! hahahaha)

Loving…

can hurt… loving can hurt sometimes.. (charot! hahaha, kanina pa ako humuhogoaaat, shoutout kay Ed Sheeran)

Loving that I am still able to “chill chill” and have a good laugh despite the challenging time ahead!

Di pala 100% pessimist ang lola nyo! Baka sadyang pabebe lang at walang pake!

Wanting…

to fast forward to December 3! I am so so so ecstatic to return home after nearly 2 years!!

Feeling…

waley. Di ko alam, halong excitement at takot.

Though as of this very moment, calm and neutral. Probably the instant effect of blogging.

Diba? :)

Anyways, thank you for spending time to see what’s up!

Lagi dapat good vibes! Bawal sad dapat happy! hihi!

for those who are on a journey to be a better version of their...

Mon, 23 Nov 2015 02:31:15 +1100

for those who are on a journey to be a better version of their current selves, don’t be afraid to yearn for greater things. make sure that the ‘you’ you will leave behind will be grateful for the ‘you’ you are creating anew.

for the last time - 01

it ended on a late afternoon

i let out a sigh composed of dismantled emotions

as I realised,that it was the same setting where everything started and

where everything abruptly ended

and for the final time,again,

our paths are to go separate ways on a late afternoon

as the sight of where our final meeting occurred

becomes more distant

i surrender to helplessness

I shouldn’t worry, though

as you’ve proven many times that you, yes dear, you, never fail to keep promises

and you will be much greater than what you only thought you could be

can you believe that this is one of my favourite goodbyes?

as i’m certain that the happiness that we wanted

is now well on it’s way

as i glance back for the final time

i’m still thankful that our paths crossed at that point in time

[ANC]